By Shannon Carlin

More than 30 years after killing John Lennon, Mark David Chapman is finally showing a bit of remorse.

In his eighth appearance before a parole board at the Wende Correctional Facility in upstate New York last week, Chapman said he understood if the board denied his release for all the pain he has caused.

In transcripts acquired by New York Daily News on Wednesday (Aug. 27), Chapman said, “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and choosing the wrong way for glory.”

Chapman also said, “Many, many people loved him. He was a great and talented man and they are still hurting. I get letters so that’s a major factor. It’s not a regular crime.”

Related: Watch Eddie Vedder’s Poignant Cover of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’

Chapman fired five shots on Dec. 8, 1980, outside the Dakota apartment house where Lennon lived on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, hitting the ex-Beatle four times. After pleading guilty to second-degree murder, Chapman was sentenced 20 years to life in prison in 1981.

During the appeal, Chapman also allegedly bragged to the board about the “incredible planning, absolutely, incredible stalking” that went into the murder of the Beatle.

“I was very convincing. This wasn’t a, you know, naive crime,” he told the parole board. “It was a serious, well thought out crime… No question about it.”

But Chapman did repeatedly express remorse over the crime, saying he was depressed and drinking at the time. He says he has now found “comfort and meaning” in spreading the word of Christ to other inmates.

In the end, the board once again denied his appeal saying it would “so deprecate the serious nature of the crime as to undermine respect for the law.”

Chapman can re-apply for parole in two years.

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